Today is Friday. Today is the last day of my Episcopal Convention. Last day after working 18 days in a row. I just got a mani/pedi. Today is payday! The sun is shinning, therefore today is a very very good day.
I'm just going to let my thoughts flow with this post. Originally when I started this blog I had an idea with the direction I wanted to go with it. Now not so much. I kind of just post random stuff about what is going on in my life, music I like at the time, different quotes and other things I find interesting. I feel as though I need more structure because I feel like I could turn this into something more. No, I might not be the most eloquent writer but I do think I have some good ideas and a good eye for (what am I trying to say) creativity? beauty? I don't know but just a good eye to what others would find interesting per se. That is just my opinion though. I have received some positive feedback from my blog. I just need to make it a more consistent thing.
With all that being said I am going to go off onto a totally different tangent. Just the other day I was on my way to the gym and thought to myself you are the only one who can change yourself or something you do not like.
<--- I thought of this quote here. And it is so true. I can put up with a lot and I am a very forgiving person but it has come to a point where my eyes are open. It has finally clicked in my head that some things are just not going to change. And I cannot accept that. I am 25 years old and I do not want the next 5 years of my life to be a repeat of the past few years. Not saying I didn't have a great time. Not saying I didn't do exactly what I wanted at the time. Not saying that I didn't learn any lessons or grow up. It is just time to do something a little different.
Yes, I am terrified and sad at the same time but I more so feel indifferent yet exhilarated. Not in what I am losing but more so in what I am gaining. This is a huge stepping stone for me. It is in my nature to not let go. It is in my nature to give people and things the benefit of the doubt and keep it moving. but no. Now, today, is time for me to move forward.
I recently read Jess Graves (from The Love List) post on dating. She stated,
"We aren't always the best version of ourselves. We're all stumbling around blindly, trying to figure it out and do the best we can. Sometimes though, you can't just win and you aren't going to. You have to suck it up, buttercup. Collect yourself, forgive yourself, and move on."
This is so true. It is okay to let things go holding you back and not holding you down. And by holding you down I mean things that are progressive or have your best interest at hand. I will cry about it. I will pray about it and just have high hopes that I am making the right decision in my life for ME right NOW!
These next few weeks I will be traveling to six different states. I will focus on turning my mindset from what it is to something better. I'm excited.
I JUST read this tweet:
"I guess I must hurt in order to grow, fail in order to know, and lose in order to gain. Some lessons in life are best learned through pain."
There is not much more I can add other than that. So LET'S GO!